Major Bloodnok

Major Dennis Bloodnok, IND. ARM. RTD. (Military idiot, former plumber's mate, coward and bar) is a character from the 1950s BBC Radio comedy The Goon Show. He was voiced by Peter Sellers.

Bloodnok's army career is noted by cowardice and monetary irregularities. He is discharged after being found dressed as a woman, although he claims it was carnival night. He is repeatedly implied to be a womaniser. A prime example of this is in "Drums Along the Mersey" where he is thrown out of a boat for being caught with the captain's wife. Another example is featured in "The Histories of Pliny the Elder", when he says: "You know that saying 'Caesar's wife is above suspicion'? Well, I put an end to all that rubbish!" Also, in "The Jet-Propelled Guided NAAFI", when Moriarty arrives at his tent to bribe him into blowing up said NAAFI, he catches Bloodnok saying supposedly to a woman he was romancing, "Good night darling, I'll see you later", to which Milligan, playing Throat, replies "Good night darling". In addition, during "Tales of Men's Shirts", he appears obsessed with women, answering a request for a favour with "What's her name?"

He introduces himself in "Napoleon's Piano" as "Major Dennis Bloodnok, late of the third Disgusting Fusilliers OBE, MT, MT and MT." Seagoon questioned him on the MT's, to which Bloodnok responded "I get tuppence on each of them" (MT's meaning "empties", as in empty bottles).

Dennis is plagued by gastro-intestinal problems and his entrance is usually accompanied by flatulent sound effects (on the occasion it wasn't played, Bloodnok cried, "I'm Cured!") and quotes such as:

  • "The screens nurse! Quick, the screens."
  • "No wonder I can't go to parties any more ...."
  • "No more curried eggs for meee ...."

Bloodnok's arch enemy is The Red Bladder as voiced by musician Ray Ellington.


  • In Shrek 1, Shrek tells Donkey that a constellation is called Bloodnok, the flatulent.
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